Ever wondered what goes on in the minds of kids when they come up with their hilarious, out-of-the-blue comments? Unleash a whirlwind of laughter with our latest episode, where we navigate through the uproarious and sometimes jaw-dropping things that children say. Buckle up as we sail through tales of youngsters questioning religious practices with a logic that's both innocent and comical, alongside heartfelt anecdotes that hit close to home, revealing the tender moments of connection and transformation within family life.
Step back in time with us to those childhood days where the concept of time was as flexible as playdough and fashion was a mysterious realm locked in the "19s." We'll share workplace sagas that will have you chuckling in solidarity, and stories that showcase the unfiltered honesty of kids who, let's face it, sometimes prefer donuts to their parents. It's a cluster of memories and misunderstandings that remind us of the boundless creativity and simplicity found in the minds of our little ones.
As we wrap up, we'll wade through the messy, the embarrassing, and the downright weird moments that come with the territory of parenting. From "leg prisons" to "foot wrists," the logic of a child is both baffling and endearing. So come along as we shed light on the candid, the gross, and the laugh-out-loud experiences that bind us together in this wild adventure called parenthood. You're invited to laugh, cringe, and maybe even learn a thing or two about embracing the beautiful chaos that comes with raising children.
Thanks for joining us! Can’t wait to see you next week 😊
Keep up with us on social media -
Instagram: @MILFsNightInPod
TikTok: @MILFsNightInPod
YouTube: @MILFsNightInPod
And as always, you’re doing great, mama ❤️
Ever wondered what goes on in the minds of kids when they come up with their hilarious, out-of-the-blue comments? Unleash a whirlwind of laughter with our latest episode, where we navigate through the uproarious and sometimes jaw-dropping things that children say. Buckle up as we sail through tales of youngsters questioning religious practices with a logic that's both innocent and comical, alongside heartfelt anecdotes that hit close to home, revealing the tender moments of connection and transformation within family life.
Step back in time with us to those childhood days where the concept of time was as flexible as playdough and fashion was a mysterious realm locked in the "19s." We'll share workplace sagas that will have you chuckling in solidarity, and stories that showcase the unfiltered honesty of kids who, let's face it, sometimes prefer donuts to their parents. It's a cluster of memories and misunderstandings that remind us of the boundless creativity and simplicity found in the minds of our little ones.
As we wrap up, we'll wade through the messy, the embarrassing, and the downright weird moments that come with the territory of parenting. From "leg prisons" to "foot wrists," the logic of a child is both baffling and endearing. So come along as we shed light on the candid, the gross, and the laugh-out-loud experiences that bind us together in this wild adventure called parenthood. You're invited to laugh, cringe, and maybe even learn a thing or two about embracing the beautiful chaos that comes with raising children.
Thanks for joining us! Can’t wait to see you next week 😊
Keep up with us on social media -
Instagram: @MILFsNightInPod
TikTok: @MILFsNightInPod
YouTube: @MILFsNightInPod
And as always, you’re doing great, mama ❤️
So we're talking about embarrassing shit or funny shit kids have said or done. So there were gonna figure out names for this shit, but for right now this is gonna be called the what the fuck segment, because I think this is gonna be like deserving of multiple what the fucks. So we're looking at tweets of basically just embarrassing or, well, really just funny things that kids have said.
Speaker 1:I'm reading through this earlier I think this one probably is my favorite so far, so this is number two on the list. It says my kid just now how much communion bread would you have to eat for us to eat a whole Jesus, a whole Jesus, a whole Jesus, not a Jesus the whole.
Speaker 2:The whole Jesus and nothing but the Jesus Amen.
Speaker 1:Oh, the whole Jesus. Okay, so this one, on my 40th birthday, my four-year-old climbed into my bed and whispered I'll always love you, even when you die.
Speaker 2:I'd be scared or not gonna lie A child saying that into your ear.
Speaker 1:Like your murderous, your murderous. That sounded a little serial killer right there.
Speaker 2:That's like my brother.
Speaker 1:Yeah, please elaborate.
Speaker 2:Okay, so me and my brother. Okay, so mine's not like bad, my brother's was like pretty bad. I don't think he's bad now, but we're diagnosed schizophrenia, right, but like. I don't think he's bad now. I don't, because I feel like, like you know, when you have this moment in your life where it's like a realization moment and you're like I think you did. That's kind of like what he had.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like he was, like I can stop being bad, yeah, I guess I should probably stop, I should probably put my life around right now. Yeah, it was like one of those things where he was like, honestly, this is a fresh start and I need to do that right, right, that kind of deal, okay. And so, like he just moved out, so he just kind of let his like schizophrenic shit just kind of go down, because he used to like, you know, like animals on fire and shit.
Speaker 2:So I got it. Yeah, bro, it's like squirrels and shit. Yeah, yeah, it's bad. It was really really bad, but he was like an interesting he would, just he was interested in it and I don't understand.
Speaker 1:I don't understand You're not gonna make it any better. It does not make it any better.
Speaker 2:I thought it doesn't make it better. It's just like there's there's fans that people get interested in, like for science reasons yeah, serial killers get interested in killing innocent animals.
Speaker 1:So like I mean, for science. You dissect animals to see their organs and do scientific research.
Speaker 2:I think he wanted to see how long it would take for the like flaming that's not making it Sorry. Continuing on Okay.
Speaker 1:My six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and I said I am your mom and she said yeah, but like a young, cool, fun mom. Oh, it just came to set that meat in for the mom continues to say I'm glad I tore up my body to birth her, just to get shredded the pieces like that Felt, felt oh man, I honestly, I I think, in all reaction I might accidentally slap Jess if she would say something like that.
Speaker 2:I mean, like that would be like an accidental reaction, like that's a react. Before you think about it you don't even realize what your situation you're, you just heard it and you really excuse me like this Bitch, try again.
Speaker 1:Let me reset you.
Speaker 2:Reset. That's where reset this child like Okay.
Speaker 1:This morning my daughter lovingly touched my face and in the sweetest voice said you don't look that old mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like I wonder if she like that's like a. I heard somebody say it and I just wanted you to know that that person's wrong. Like that's, that's basically what that was.
Speaker 1:I don't think you look like that. We're going to say that to make us feel better for that mom, I guess. All right, daughter, look, I'm dressed like someone from your time Me. What time do you think I'm from, daughter? You know the 19s?
Speaker 2:The 19s, oh my god, the 19s, the 1900s.
Speaker 1:You know, like early 1900s, maybe 18th century, you know like the vampire era. Right that era. It's given the black and white photos.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, no, now I've thought about it. Oh my god, okay, jessica. I got to know that Jessica found a video of Wednesday Addams dancing. Lily's obsessed with that. Lily is obsessed with that. She come right up to me. I was like mommy, look, there's you. Oh damn, I don't even have black hair. You didn't have that black wig.
Speaker 1:one time though, oh, I do have that black wig.
Speaker 2:And you know what?
Speaker 1:because wasn't it braided?
Speaker 2:It was yeah, mm-hmm. Oh, that's fuck.
Speaker 1:There you go. I sure did All right Wednesday, miss Addams.
Speaker 2:That shit was fun though, but that's crazy, because honestly, that was a very long time in between the time that she saw me in that wig and the time that she found the video. Okay, so forget shit. Yeah, that also is crazy that she remembers with her pet, like she's three, we're trying to work out with the pacifier sage, because she is connected to that shit, like that is her best friend and I'm like we're gonna leave the car and you're gonna spend the day with Nanny and it's gonna stay with me so we can take a look, but she'll remember exactly where she puts her pacifiers If she left the house that morning. When we come home that night, she's like, oh, where's my passi? I'm like I don't know where's your passi and she's like, hmm, it's in your room and I'm just wearing my room In front of the mirror. Go get it and we'll walk up there and we will go get it and it'll be right exactly where she said it.
Speaker 2:I'm just like, but you can't remember what you did with my deodorant, because it's mine Right.
Speaker 1:Kids are manipulators. That's what it is, honestly.
Speaker 2:The deodorant's been going for a week. I have other deodorant. Okay, that was gonna be my next question it just made me mad because I had to open that one first and I was like but it doesn't make a difference, because I bought it all at the same time. My head, that one's old, this one's new, or is that one Right?
Speaker 1:right. Use the oldest first.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and now it's fine.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like this one. Six year old. I love you, me. I love you too, six year old. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to my donut. Oh, that's me as fuck, though. Fuck you, this is all about my donut right now.
Speaker 2:The guy with the donuts Huh. Oh, you weren't working. I didn't work too. Oh, the singing guy came in with the cowboy hat. He sells, he brings the CDs and he'll give them to people. The cracker dude Is that his.
Speaker 1:That sounds horrible. Okay, he is old white man. No, he is old white man, but that in no way was a racial sir.
Speaker 2:He comes in and asks for a million crackers. He likes the crackers that we sell with, like our salads. So that's what I call him.
Speaker 1:And maybe I shouldn't be the one to call him that.
Speaker 2:No, it's okay because you're half white. I guess that makes it okay. I personally grant you that. I personally grant you that.
Speaker 1:Thank you, my lady. I appreciate that too.
Speaker 2:But he came in today and he brought Becca some donuts. Becca was like I want to grow up there. That's a cute poor soul. And then she was yeah, well, he brought him for her. I was like why does he know that you're at work? Yep, why does he know you're here? Your car's in the back.
Speaker 1:Yep why is it in the back. That's weird. That's weird. We do have a lot of weird customers, so yeah, extremely weird.
Speaker 2:Did you ever deal with Marshall? He used to be a sheriff or a cop and then he got in like a really bad wreck. That fucked his voice up, like while he was on duty, and he honestly, I'm glad you didn't have to, I'm really glad you didn't have to, but he was full on freak. You would like to grab the girls. You don't have to touch me.
Speaker 1:You would like to go on grabby Like your asses, See, and that would be the day that I would literally punch the body in the face. Took twice two years to actually fully get him out.
Speaker 2:I would have punched him in the face. Oh, and I pushed him. I didn't punch him because I was very, very young when I first dealt with it. He never actually touched me, but he just got close enough to where I was, like hey that's not. Yeah, you're way too close to me. And then I eventually had a lot of girls come up to me, and Tracy, and tell me that he had been like touching them. Men are fucking creeps yeah nasty. And he's like old too.
Speaker 2:And then he can't tell you know, he just he's saying like that is how it felt, and then I hate him so very much. I see him drive around Washington every once in a while. I actually haven't seen him in the past couple of months. Well, hey there you go. Yeah, check the obituary.
Speaker 1:Check the obituary, all right.
Speaker 2:Okay, we did that for Mr Tedderton for a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, all right, at some point you'll think you'll have this parenting thing figured out. Then your child will ask you to take the cheese off of their macaroni.
Speaker 2:Did you imagine, Because I'd be a whole fight too. They'd be like no, I don't want the cheese though.
Speaker 1:No, like I like the mac and cheese, but please, I just don't want the cheese. Put the cheese on the side, like I do not want it mixed in with my macaroni and cheese.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'd just dip the noodles and I'd like to dip them in cheese. Did you remember the thing? Everybody did the thing with the macaroni and cheese, where you took the fork and you tried to get four of them on the?
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, on that elbow macaroni. Absolutely, yes, yes, oh my God, it's okay, hold on, because this one would totally be Lily.
Speaker 2:Well, I want, so I can't read it.
Speaker 1:This one would totally be Lily when she starts school, because this is me. Okay, my daughter told her teacher that I love murder, but forgot to include the TV shows part, so our meeting should be fun. Oh my God. Okay, my son is singing a song he made up called Free the Nipples because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now.
Speaker 2:Shirts off the tatas.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Okay, my killed, my killed.
Speaker 2:Words, words, we killed words.
Speaker 1:My kid yelled pants are leg prisons Leg prisons yes, when. I told him to get dressed, so our talks about consent are going well. All right, pants are leg prisons.
Speaker 2:One, three down. Fuck the establishment. I'm not wearing pants. Fuck the establishment. You can deal with my bare ass cheeks. Honestly, though, if you think about it like kids, technically do have that right. Okay, Jessica, listen, Jessica is a full naked baby.
Speaker 2:She has a diaper on, but she doesn't want like the shirt and the pants on. I'm not saying she does. When she gets home, that shit comes off and into the floor. So she doesn't even give it to you, she won't even put it in the little laundry basket, she just throws it right in the floor Like first of all. Man, how many times have you seen me pick that shit up and put it in the laundry basket?
Speaker 1:How many times have I made?
Speaker 2:you pick it up and put it in the laundry basket, and your dad's doing it as well. Put your shit up. But she's not a close person. But if you think about it, those particular kids who get to be like that and who don't wear clothes all the time they just used to be naked so they think it's perfectly fine. They're just fucking somewhere. At like four years old, they're like I don't feel like wearing these pants anymore, Right, let's just go ahead and take these like prison socks and then free the nipples.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:just run around in the bag in the PP area holder. Okay, jessica, I don't know what to. We hadn't gotten to the underwear area. We're just doing pull-ups. So she knows what a pull-up is. I, as a woman, I wear bras right, as most women do. Some women don't, and that's okay. I don't wear them on my hotbed Again.
Speaker 1:free the nipples.
Speaker 2:Yeah, free the nipples. But I'm getting ready in the morning and I can't find my bra, like Jessica's always, just like right there beside me, like what are you looking for? First of all, why are you just now popping up when I'm like Titty's out.
Speaker 2:Like she waits until I don't have anything on and my boobs are just out and I'm not gonna lie. It makes me slightly uncomfortable because she'll just like, poke me in the back and when I turn around, it's just like you know what I'm saying, like, oh, my God, my Titty's. I call them baby holders. I call bras baby holders. Jessica started calling them baby holders. She'll ask me where I'm going. Where's your baby holder? Like she notices that, like you can see my nipples through my shirt, she knows that I'm not wearing a baby holder. And she'll tell me that I'm not wearing a baby holder. And I'm like, yes, because they need to be free tonight. Okay, I need to breathe.
Speaker 1:So that makes me think of this time that, um, okay, so like ever since Lily was a baby and you know, like Diaper booties, those are a thing, mm-hmm, diaper booties are a little thick, right, yeah. And so, as a baby, me and my parents we just like play around with her and she's gotten to wear now that she's Four and she does it to us now, but like we would pat her on her butt and just say big fat booty.
Speaker 1:I just let the old booty yeah you had just a little, but like right, but so our thing was big fat booty. So now she'll do that to us. She'll hit my butt, thomas's butt, my dad's butt, my mom's butt, phoenix's butt, everybody's butt, and say big fat booty. Okay, so one time, either we had taken a shower together or I just got out of the shower and she just was all of a sudden just spawned at the bathroom. So Really, do like where'd you come from, child? Go back to where you came from. I'm naked.
Speaker 2:I just got out the shower right fully naked.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm drying off whatever. Put my towel away I. She Pokes me. No, I am on my vagina and says big fat Jaina. No, like I wanted to laugh so hard because like she thinks it's normal, yeah, but it's like when we do the big fat booty thing, we have clothes on. I'm fully Jaina out full full Blown Jaina out and she just goes. Big fat Jaina.
Speaker 2:Okay, my my take on that one right with my experience. Jessica, we take baths together most of the time. I have already had my shower and so we're really just sitting back together. I'm not gonna put Baking suit on to sit in the bathtub of my daughter. We have the same pieces. She's also burning those same pieces Parts I think parts was in my brain.
Speaker 2:So I have no problem like being in the bathtub with her. However, the bathtub is Probably about the length from like that into that to make over here. It's not a huge bathtub, so my legs go With me sitting all the way. At the end they go up to like her Hips, yeah, in the bathtub and she likes to slide back and forth. And I have this weird thing about feet. Don't touch me with your feet, I can't stand feet.
Speaker 1:Thomas asked me to rub his feet the other day and I was like absolutely fucking.
Speaker 2:Not. The best thing, though, is like I can touch other people's feet like I. Okay, let me rephrase that I can touch Jessica's feet, and I can touch Adam's feet. Those are the only feet that I will ever touch. I will not touch anybody else's feet. I cannot do it. Don't like feet. I'll touch my kids feet. I have that, yeah, okay, I don't like other people's feet Touching me. I cannot do that. Don't put your feet on me. I Even get mad at Jessica when she puts her feet on me because I'm like.
Speaker 2:Oh, can you just get on me, like, can you just sit on me? I hold you, but get your feet off of me, because she will slide down the tub Into me and her toes they're in water. I'm in water and I like to feel, or the little nose, and I'm like, oh, that's too damn bad.
Speaker 1:Oh shit why, are children like this?
Speaker 2:He's downstairs all the years is just.
Speaker 1:You did not have to attack myself like that. That is, that's gonna take one wrong breath to fall like okay, my hand right then.
Speaker 2:At least you didn't break an ale. Yeah, you're right, I've heard this morning, I'll punch the wall with both my hands. Why?
Speaker 1:Okay, I.
Speaker 2:Wunch I went.
Speaker 1:So, my god, yeah, I've punched a wall in my, I've punched a hole in my parents. Well, I was about to say I punched a wall in the hole. Oh, that's a big bed. Try to go for sugar, like you know. Okay, so I was going to class one day and I was already running late. But like I didn't have this was before children so I had two dogs. I still have one. The other one has is dearly departed. All right, p G Go.
Speaker 1:So I let them out like 15 minutes before I was supposed to leave and they still had to come back. They always chose the worst times To stay out longer. Okay, so I'm already late for class. I'm calling them, they're not coming back. I have to get in my car and drive around the neighborhood to find them. But before I got in my car and I go to the back door to find them, I'm already frustrated, like beyond frustrated, that at that moment I'm opening the back doors, the moment I'm supposed to have my ass in the seat in class, like and this is campus at BCCC from my parents house.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a 20 minute drive, that's like literally on the other side literally. And so I'm pissed off and I open the back door, I call them. They don't come back. They're not already on the porch, none of that. And so I close the door and I turn around. I just punch the shit out of the wall as hard as I could put a hole in the wall really bad. And so then that made me even more frustrated, because it's like. This is my parents house.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, this is bad. And so um, my dad, like when I told him what happened, he kind of was just like you.
Speaker 2:Have anger issues like you should probably get that checked out.
Speaker 1:Yeah but for now just fix the wall.
Speaker 2:I'm like okay cool.
Speaker 1:That's how I learned how to patch a hole in the wall.
Speaker 2:I think I'm about to learn how to catch a hole, because when I tell them I have a sample stuff, I'm pretty sure he has like a whole gate in between him and will they have it all um, um. But I told him this morning and he was just like he had the best reaction I will say to me like being like I got angry enough that I put a hole in the wall because I had never done that.
Speaker 2:But like in all honesty, jessica, with everything else going on will had me on edge. Jessica wasn't listening. The cat keeps pissing in the floor. I'm about to lose my shit. Put your fucking jacket on hole in the wall. And like I messaged Adam and I was like I thought that was a hole, like that's all I said. I didn't tell him what happened or the events leading up to it. I had told him about like the past two days of like me and everything and I was like I'm already here and then all this on top of it they're the whole interval now and he was just like I'm saying that's okay, that's just not something we can't fix, are you okay? I was just like I mean, I'm pretty sure my fucking knuckle hurts.
Speaker 2:My hand you should have seen my hand when I got bored this morning. It was pretty bad Like my whole shit was like swollen, like my hand was that big Like just this one, just this one, but it's because I like, punched it like a one-two and hit a stun.
Speaker 1:It just hurt. That would be you the most unlucky thing yeah it was like stun. Oh my god, I'm gonna read a few more of these.
Speaker 2:I have to pee. There's no waiting. I have to pee. Oh no, I gotta go.
Speaker 1:We'll just edit all this out.
Speaker 2:I'll do it.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry. It's okay, I'll just edit all of it out, sorry guys. Okay, we're back from a short pee break. I'm gonna finish reading off a few of these, and then I think we should have our little word of encouragement to mothers and call it an episode. Yeah, I think that would be great. Yeah, I think this was very great.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure. So um, back to embarrassing shit. Why do I keep saying embarrassing Funny shit? That kid say. My 12 year old called her ankles, foot, wrist, and now I'm concerned about her future plans. She'll be a doctor.
Speaker 2:To be a doctor. Yeah, um, just take your boots off and let me get a look at your foot wrist please, oh, your foot.
Speaker 1:Imagine if she was at ENT, isn't that?
Speaker 2:no, no, no. Is that the foot?
Speaker 1:doctor? No, that's ears, nose and throat. What's the foot doctor, pediatrist, is that sounds right? That sounds right. I'm pretty sure that I'm literally right in front of my laptop and I can search this and literally all I can type was Peto. Okay, um, moving on, so um, the foot doctor, let her not be a foot doctor. Okay, yep, she will not be the next doctor.
Speaker 1:Okay, um, she should be a doctor. Phil, 11 year old, don't be an ass. Seven year old, don't say that word. It means penis. All of those are Yep. Don't say it means penis. Six year old, am I made of yolk? My friend said well, hello, we're see Out. Come on, let's go.
Speaker 2:I thought my clothes. She said I just wanted to make a special appearance here and let you write in my beautiful coat. She has beautiful clothes.
Speaker 1:She has beautiful dogs. She's got some really pretty. She doesn't stop. Six year old am I? Made of yolk, me it's the blank.
Speaker 2:I just made up my own face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um six year old, my friend said we come from eggs. So did I come from the white or the yellow? Oh me, uh, go ask your father.
Speaker 2:That's a both, because like sperm's white, what color are eggs?
Speaker 1:What colors are uterus? It is pink. What is it? It's not because I'm going to get it. I was about to hit some off topic shit.
Speaker 2:It is about to be wild. A woman had her stuff removed. Yeah, she saved it. She puts it back together. She takes it out of the jar and puts it back together. That is fucking disgusting. I thought, it was weird as shit. I was like that is absolutely disgusting and she's like guessing the pieces of like what it is. Like she put a piece together and was like showing it to the camera and she's like I think this is my service. Oh my god, bitch ew. That was like gross.
Speaker 1:First of all, I didn't know that's what a service looked like. If you had the chance, would you eat your placenta? That's a thing people do, and people do that people.
Speaker 2:Is there a hell save the placenta.
Speaker 1:Is there a health benefit? It's supposedly really healthy for you.
Speaker 2:I Mean. It's okay if it was healthy for me, in the sense for my child, like if it were, because, like, that goes along with giving birth. Obviously it's a part of that process. So it's like you know, breast milk and stuff, if me eating that would like Help in that particular area for like the nutrition towards the kid, then yes, I Don't know. Yeah, that seems a little weird.
Speaker 1:It's a little out there. That is a lot there, yeah, but I think it's like I Don't know. I've seen a movie about people living on a I don't know what the exact. A commune, a compound, yeah, but the people that are in the compound are, okay, not communists, but they're commune, because communists is a whole different thing. Well, I'm doing home birds and stuff. They keep the placenta attached until it naturally falls off and then they eat it Because of health benefits, whatever.
Speaker 2:That's interesting, yeah it's really interesting actually yeah, look into it. Sometimes I wonder why we don't do bigger dives in certain like weird things like that that people find like that is weird and like, but like why don't we Actually do deep as the whole, do deep dives into things that could be good for us, that seem like really out there, but they are good for you, right? Like something like that in particular that probably is really good for you, it is from the birth.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and it's an organ that is Made while your baby is made. It's not something we naturally have.
Speaker 2:So that's interesting to suck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's okay, okay, last two Six-year-old mommy Imagine you had to buy your baby instead of growing it out of your penis or your belly. It would cost like ten dollars. That's what the kids said. It would cost ten dollars. Well, baby, you're just a. Buy the baby instead of growing it from your penis, from your penis from the piece, like, could you imagine?
Speaker 2:all I can see is a tree. That's what I imagine. Yeah, ten dollars, ten dollars for a baby. He just thinks that people are just worth ten double now, do you get a receipt with this?
Speaker 1:because?
Speaker 2:because what if they end up being a serial killer?
Speaker 1:right, or like allergic to dogs or cats, like Return, please like. What is my return Time frame? What? What is your policy here? Because I bring this baby back to the baby store, it's gonna go. If it's allergic to dogs, fuck. No, I'm not keeping that baby. Ask them, take this shit back, please Take it back. But there's an unwanted baby store, like like a once upon a child, but for children and they, they for your used child.
Speaker 2:This is a little traumatized but you know, I'm sure with some loving care a children shelter.
Speaker 1:She doesn't have stains, you know.
Speaker 2:Never had a haircut, pretty good condition.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, the paper colors being okay.
Speaker 1:It's like last one. And then I actually have a story to go along with this and I'm good, okay me, why does it smell like poop in here? Kid, because I pooped on the couch. Oh me, great, because I asked what it's not like poop in here, just going around shit, not couches, playgrounds, couches, it don't matter, it's just Shit. We go shit where we need a shit. Oh Shit, you've got shit. So that brings me to my last story and I think we need to sign off.
Speaker 1:But okay, lily was Crawling age, maybe a little bit before one, and Me and her real I miss when they didn't fucking talk.
Speaker 1:Um, me and her were In her room at the time and just like having a good old time playing with toys and yada, yada, she pooped, changed her diaper and I was already laying on the floor cuz like, I'm down here playing, I'm, I'm in it, I'm in it, yeah, on the floor playing with her. I take the shitty diaper and I just kind of like throw it behind me towards the diaper genie and Few. No, I didn't get up, I didn't want to get up, I was girl playing, I'm playing, I'm like I said, I'm in it, I'm focused. Just throw the diaper near the diaper genie Few minutes later, because then she gets uninterested in whatever we were doing and she just kind of like crawls off away from me. And so I'm on my phone and then I hear I Initially thought it was one of the dogs Smacking in the room, like Chico, he used to. Just when he would eat he would smack the fuck out of his food and even after he ate, like while it's digested, and he's just like that was some good shit, basically.
Speaker 1:And so I'm saying this one of the dogs. So I look to see and my one year old little under one year old child has opened this diaper Ham's full of shit she's eating and she is, oh my god, smacking like it was her last meal. That's great, that was. I swear. I'm not a bad mom. I'm a good mom, but you know what? She's super fucking smart, so maybe whatever fecal matter was in the back of that day, maybe that's what did it I?
Speaker 2:Wanted to go with that and say my daughter was also the same age that she is speaking of is About crawling age. We hadn't gotten to walking yet but we were crawling. Okay, I got two cats. I don't I don't know why they just be throwing up in places, but my child's cats do. I mean they just be throwing up all in a place for no reason, like, but not really. There's just like this one spot that I did not get and I don't know why. I don't know how I missed it, but I missed it and it had dried up a little bit, but it was still like Squeezy. Um, I Like sitting here on my phone and I'm gonna like take a video of Jess or something and I see her put a roach, a Bug, a roach in her mouth. I take the roach out because I'm like oh my god, a bug, take the roach out.
Speaker 1:There is cat vomit with it and I was like I got a bug.
Speaker 2:take the roach out. There is cat vomit with it and I was like the cat ate the roach. First of all, why is the cat eating the roach? Why are you eating the fucking cat vomit? Where did you get it from, cause? Where did you get it from? I didn't even see it on the blanket. I didn't even find it on the blanket. Oh my God, it was just like this random piece. It was like this big and then a cockroach.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like kids be finding everything. And yeah, she ate it. Like it tasted good too.
Speaker 1:I was like just that's how we do the poop dude, I mean kids are fucking gross.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they just be baffling me. I'm like you don't taste how nasty that tastes, right, you don't.
Speaker 1:This don't taste like chicken nuggets. You don't do that, that doesn't make sense to you.
Speaker 2:Like that doesn't register, which, like I, get children right in the area. They gotta like be shown that that should be registered, right. And so like I get it, but at the same time I'm like but how can you put that in your mouth and not tell that that does not taste right, right.
Speaker 1:Shh, but yet there's such picky eaters. I know, but you're gonna eat cat shit or a cat vomit and your own doodoo, I know but you wanna be picky because this one's got cheese in it. You don't want the macaroni because it has cheese on it. Like what? Okay, jessica doesn't like pepperoni. She takes it off of her pizza. That's how Lily is. Phoenix will eat it, though. Phoenix loves some pepperoni.
Speaker 2:You both fuck this girl. I'm gonna get us a sign that says reporting in progress.
Speaker 1:Leave us the fuck alone, and then we're gonna get dead bolts. Oh, we should have locked the door. Should have locked the door, anywho, I think. I think that's our time. Yeah, I think that is our time. Yeah, so what we kinda wanna do with our podcast is we're gonna be doing a podcast and we're gonna be doing a podcast.
Speaker 1:And what we wanna do with our podcast is just kind of like we're sharing embarrassing stories of ourselves, of our kids, everything in between, just anything. And it's kind of the idea of we're gonna share fucked up shit about ourselves to kind of make you feel better about yourself. Well, also just giving you some encouragement, like I basically let my daughter eat her own shit and you know what? That's okay because she's still alive. So in those moments it's like you know we can laugh at our own pain. Trying to help share our trauma stories and others trauma stories to encourage you Like you're doing a fantastic job, mama, and just it's amazing.
Speaker 2:It is, and we just want you to be able to feel like you can relate to somebody. Like she said, you're not the only one out there, for sure. And then, like a lot of times, you do feel like you are the only one out there. Oh yeah, so like know that you're not and like we wanna hear from you, we wanna know, like if, like what you wanna hear Outside of the things that we're talking about, like if you have a thought, shit lay on us.
Speaker 1:Yes, we do, we'll go on. Yeah, we do, you give us a good topic.
Speaker 2:That's a good 15 to 30 minutes worth of it, Absolutely, Especially when you was going. It'll be like when she just popped up and like told me about her embarrassing story and like you know, like the way that she just was like yeah that'll be us.
Speaker 1:I should have herself at the park. Yeah, you never thought about it for the past couple of years, until just now. So I think I thought about mine twice since it happened.
Speaker 2:No, three times since it happened, when I found out that we were at the Washington auditorium and or the high school auditorium, and then I think I told somebody else about it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So we just wanna be able to share. Yep, that was a funny bone. That was a funny bone. Are you gonna make it?
Speaker 2:I can't feel my arm. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:You just kinda snorted, right then I'm just gonna snort. When I laugh, when I think something's hilarious, I'm gonna snort.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I snort really, really bad, and it's just that one big inhale that I take when I'm not done laughing, and so I was like I'm gonna snort.
Speaker 1:I'm pepper pink, I'm pepper pink, I'm pepper pink, I'm pepper pink, I'm pepper pink, I'm pepper pink.
Speaker 2:I'm pepper pink. Yeah, pepper pink is fucking hilarious, bro. Let me know what's the funny thing. She called me and said I can't whistle. Can you whistle? What is that? It's when you do this, do this, do this, and she goes. Oh, like this, she said.
Speaker 1:Click it. Oh man, yeah, pepper pink is great.
Speaker 2:I love pepper, pink and bluey Okay get it off topic.
Speaker 1:So we're supposed to be signing off now. So just remember, you're not alone. You can catch us on YouTube, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon. Podcast I think is what it's called. Literally any podcast streaming platform Find us on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, at Milf Night in Pod and yeah, we hope you hear us again next time.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's what I'm going for, but we're excited to see you next time. I really hope that you come back and listen to us again.
Speaker 1:Yes, have a wonderful night. Thank you, guys.